preserving my sacred spaces

March 1, 2016


a few months ago, someone told me i was in “reclaiming identity” mode. i had shared an experience that caught me off guard and i didn’t know what to make of it. after an extended conversation, we ended with reclaiming identity. i didn’t really know what to make of that either. at 37, i was pretty […]

actually, no, we can’t be facebook friends

February 4, 2016


we live in a world where meeting someone in person or in a virtual space equates to” knowing” someone. i went along with this new age approach to community building becasue i’m a technofile. if you do actually know me, you know i’m all about integrating technology into every part of my life. i love […]

Posted in: loving some me

bet you can’t reach just one

January 28, 2016


have you ever been sitting at your desk minding your own business, lost in your work happy work place, when your stream of consciousness gets hijacked? please, tell me I’m not the only one!  that happened to me the other day. out of the blue! i was doing some research on how to make incremental changes […]

make me feel so damn unpretty

January 23, 2016


one of the first things people tell you when you start your loc journey is there will be some bad days and some good days. you will question your decision multiple times as you go through stages of itchy scalp, dull hair, uncontrollable frizzies, and a host of other things based on the length, thickness, […]

i’m all locked up

January 10, 2016


after many months of contemplating, i have finally decided to commit. i’m not a commitment-phobe. i tend to make decisions and stick to them. for some reason, this commitment seemed to require more time and a full pro/con list.  i did my googles so i knew what to expect if and when i said yes. i’m […]

is your no selfish or selfless?

January 5, 2016


no one wants to be accused of being selfish. sure, sometimes we want to place ourselves first, but we would never openly show little disregard for another’s feelings. say it with me, “we care!” full disclosure, my dad actually called me selfish on christmas because i mentioned that i’m not keen on having children. i’ve […]

2016, how did we get here?

January 4, 2016


i can’t believe it is already 2016. you have probably uttered those exact words a few times yourself. it really seems like the days are flying by. i personally can’t decide if i’m okay with this or if i  want the ability to make time stand still. sometimes you just need a moment to catch […]

Posted in: loving some me

staring in yellow surprise at the sun

October 20, 2015


i have heard many of my non-black friends say how surprised and appalled they are by some of the blatant racist things they have witnessed recently either personally, locally, or on a national stage. part of me wants to ask them where they have been all their lives. none of this is new. in fact, […]

swimming with a black face in a white space

October 19, 2015


i am not a strong swimmer. i know how to swim and i enjoy being in the water, but i don’t know how to tread water so i tend to only go to the deep end with an immediate return trip in mind. every once in a while, i swim away from the shore and just […]

choosing happiness for 25% off today only

October 9, 2015


i just got an email with the subject line: “choosing happiness for 25% off.” i’m assuming it was an ad for a book or some other motivational keepsake being promoted by mama oprah. yes, i call her mama oprah because she has such a nurturing and giving spirit. she just looks like she would embrace […]