I have been a faithful listener of The Read podcast for a while now. My Thursday routine wouldn’t be complete without my weekly dose of Kid Fury and Crissle. I live for the opening song, the black excellence segment, the hot topics, and the read. I don’t actually care about the listeners questions but we can’t please all the people all the time. Mostly, I live for the way these two black, queer, NYC transplants fully occupy their space on this planet, authentically speak their minds, and uplift blackness in all the facets that aren’t prevalent in mainstream America.
When they announced they were headed to Seattle, I immediately bought my tickets to be front and center for this explosion of blackness in the middle of our extremely white Emerald City. My night started with a little prefunk with my sorors before we headed over to the Moore theater. Seeing the sea of black faces pour into the theater set the stage for what was absolutely a great night.
Assante, Kid Fury and Crissle gave us a little more than an hour of pure ratchet magic. If it wasn’t already clear that “the devil is fucking busy” when you stepped outside your house that night, Crissle made sure you were reminded. On the agenda for the rachet black people’s gathering was Cardi B and Offset, Onika Maraj and her insecurities, Michelle kicking Chad’s butt to the curb, Kevin Hart and all his fuckshit, and the poster child for white mediocrity, Lena Dunham. I laughed, I danced, and I swam in the pool of black culture until my heart was content. We always do it for THE CULTURE.
In case you missed it:
- Yes, Cardi left Offset, but they are definitely hooking up again because as Crissle said, “a lot of ya’ll have trouble not f*ckin ya baby’s daddy
- We all want Michelle to win, but “when Jesus say no, nobody can say yes.” Chad had to go.
- Nicki Minaj needs to act like the queen she proclaims to be or shut up. Actually, therapy would be good. She needs someone to help her unpack why she stay capin for sexual predators. For real girl, who hurt you?
- Kevin Hart is garbage
- That white girl from Girls needs to disappear already.
After Kid Fury and Crissle exited stage left, my sorors and our crew went to a Mexican spot and ate nachos, wings, tacos and drank margaritas because blackness. I know I say it all the time but I truly love being a black woman. There are so many instances where this life does it’s absolute damness to beat us down. But it don’t work because the Force is strong with us. So, shout out to the Read Podcast for bringing us a dose of black magic to sunless Seattle. We love you.